AS SEEN ON TV

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Re: AS SEEN ON TV

Postby Blorf » Wed May 27, 2015 8:51 am

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S: "Can you believe we actually sold a few of those?"

B: "I suppose it does have a certain charm... and there's the slightest bit of utility..."

S: "Are... are you complimenting it?"

B: "Look at the time! We're on in :30."

---

*voooop*

K: "We seem to have an inventory problem. Someone shipped us an extra one of them crate mechs."

R: "We don't carry Krates. Is it a KARR-TUNN? That guy wasn't happy I told him we'd carry no more than 5 at a time."

K: "I dunno. It's kinda the same? This one's all yellow and stumpy-armed."

R: "Let me see..."

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R: "Those arms are even more useless than the other model. Where did you say it shipped in from?"

K: "It was just here when I got in this morning."

R: "Trying to sneak it in on us, huh?"

K: "Hey, what's this on the side? I think it says "BOXX."

R: "A new model? We don't even have specs or marketing materials, how are we supposed to sell it? I've had enough. Red-tag this account."

---

*voooop*

Hezeraiah: "Next up, a special treat from the revitalized Astromax lineup: the BINN!"

Sophie: "Oh boy Hezzy, this is one of my favorite lines!"

H: "That's right, the all new BINN is just PACKED with features! HAHAHA!"

S: "Oh ho! That's a good one. Tell us about 'em, Twankums!"

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H: "Where do I start? (I have no idea) It's got huge feet, presumably for walking! The cabin space is enormous. And... uh... well..."

S: "Why does it look like a chicken?"

H: "Silly girl, it looks like toy duck."

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S: "A chicken, silly!"

H: "Honestly, girl. Duck!"

S: "CHICKEN!"

H: "I SWEAR ON THE NAME OF FREEMAN BONESTEEL TWANKUS THAT I WILL DESTROY YOU."

Hezeraiah awoke in a cold sweat. The cameras were gone, Sophie was gone, and in their place only a pond of frogs remained.
He wondered if the rifts or the sausage were to blame, and swore off television for another seven years.

---

W: "No more, they said we're cut off."

F: "WHAT? Cut off? What for?"

W: "Sending that rogue shipment of merchandise. They won't accept anything else we send them because we sent extra units to the warehouse."

F: "We didn't send that! I told you we didn't send that! Didn't you explain that we didn't send that?"

W: "I told them what you told me to tell them, sir."

F: "Not now. Why now? Okay, think... options... options... TVC is out... what about FSN?"

W: "FSN denied our application months ago, something about work conditions."

F: "But... but... the CONN-TANN-ERR...
I've... finally made something that might actually be useful..."

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Now developing the Mobile Frame Zero Commander's Handbook — The official mobile/web app for rules, game aids, and tactical planning.
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Re: AS SEEN ON TV

Postby Atavism » Wed May 27, 2015 12:08 pm

"Twankums" the least cute pet name possible.

The duck/chicken exchange made me laugh out loud. Very Looney-Tunes. :lol:
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Re: AS SEEN ON TV

Postby gusindor » Wed May 27, 2015 3:15 pm

Blorf wrote:F: "But... but... the CONN-TANN-ERR...
I've... finally made something that might actually be useful..."

I quite like this one, it's the only one where the box actually makes it look tough instead of humorous.
Always bring a speech to a gunfight.
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