Sophie: Oh, It sure is, Bob. Alright, so what do we have next?
B: Well, Sophie, first I have to ask you a question. And I'll bet our viewers need to know, too. What's the biggest problem with mobile frames?
S: Well, Bob, I'd have to say: they just cost too much!
B: Right you are, Sophie! And that's exactly the problem our next product is going to solve for you!
S: I don't believe it, Bob. Not for a minute. It can't be done!
B: Oh, but it HAS been done. Allow me to introduce you to... the Karr-Tunn!
S: Let's get that up on screen.
Spoiler: show
B: Couldn't they get a better image?
S: Is it standing in a junkyard?
B: Straight from the factories of Kakkanad, The Karr-Tunn represents the pinnacle achievement of cost-saving mobile frame design. We see a radical departure from other frames in terms of materials usage, eschewing the common "metals" and "alloys" "polyplastics" for a much more traditional and time-tested material: wood! How long was wood indispensable in all kinds of construction?
S: Thousands of years, Bob! Thousands!
B: That's right! This frame has an incredible array of features. Just look at those lightweight components and how much they've reduced. Expensive sensor arrays? Gone! ESC units? Useless! Communications equipment? Overpriced! Stabilizing gyro? For wimps. Some might see spindly components, I see expert weight reduction.
S: But, Bob, didn't they have some trouble in Kakkanad recently?
B: Oh, it was no trouble at all. Once things calmed down, Felix was able to build a thriving and sustainable industry with the complete cooperation of every remaining citizen! The Karr-Tunn is the result of this perfect collaboration and definitely shows a promising new start for the system.
S: Ha, ha ha, of course. So tell us more about the Karr-Tunn. I mean, I think the viewers want to know: "What's it like to drive?"
B: Of course! of course. Let's turn it over to a vid just captured from the factory floor.
R&D wrote:....
Narrator: "So, show up the drive system"
Engineer: "Yeah, yeah, you check this out. You see this lever? Well in firmware 1.9k, it gonna be when you push forward it walk forward and when you push back it walk backward. It gonna be awesome."
N: "That's excellent. And to turn?"
E: "Gonna have something for that in 1.9, too."
N: "Great, great. But what about right now?"
E: "Until then, the complete range of motion can be achieved with just these four buttons. I'm sure the users will find our current 'QWOP drive' system completely user-friendly."
B: ...uch a piece of sh..Oh! we're back. Yes, I had a chance to try it myself, and I assure you, it's quite the experience.
S: Bob, I can't help but see a resemblance to another recent release in the budget frame market.
B: The Karr-Tunn provides a drastic leap forward from that other frame, with an increased cabin area of over 200%!
S: 200%! You could fit like 3 crates in there!
B: Yes you could! And there's more. Surely you need to get some work done, so with this offer, we're including a refurbished "industrial" laser absolutely free.
Spoiler: show
S: I'm surprised it can even hold that thing.
B: Usually they have a battery attached.
S: Free? At that price, that's impossible!
B: It's not impossible today, if you contact the number on your screen RIGHT NOW.
S: Well this all sound great, but what about the shipping all the way from Kakkanad?
B: I'm glad you asked! The frame basically ships itself. Through its ingenious design, the frame literally is its own shipping container. There's no need for special handling procedures.
S: Wow. Amazing. That's simply amazing.
B: But remember, this offer is only good for a limited time!
S: Call now!
B: I need a drink.
S: Get me two.
