AS SEEN ON TV

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AS SEEN ON TV

Postby Blorf » Fri Mar 13, 2015 9:15 am

Bob: HA! Ha! Ha! Now that's what I call peach cobbler!

Sophie: Oh, It sure is, Bob. Alright, so what do we have next?

B: Well, Sophie, first I have to ask you a question. And I'll bet our viewers need to know, too. What's the biggest problem with mobile frames?

S: Well, Bob, I'd have to say: they just cost too much!

B: Right you are, Sophie! And that's exactly the problem our next product is going to solve for you!

S: I don't believe it, Bob. Not for a minute. It can't be done!

B: Oh, but it HAS been done. Allow me to introduce you to... the Karr-Tunn!

S: Let's get that up on screen.

Spoiler: show
Image
Image

B: Couldn't they get a better image?
S: Is it standing in a junkyard?


B: Straight from the factories of Kakkanad, The Karr-Tunn represents the pinnacle achievement of cost-saving mobile frame design. We see a radical departure from other frames in terms of materials usage, eschewing the common "metals" and "alloys" "polyplastics" for a much more traditional and time-tested material: wood! How long was wood indispensable in all kinds of construction?

S: Thousands of years, Bob! Thousands!

B: That's right! This frame has an incredible array of features. Just look at those lightweight components and how much they've reduced. Expensive sensor arrays? Gone! ESC units? Useless! Communications equipment? Overpriced! Stabilizing gyro? For wimps. Some might see spindly components, I see expert weight reduction.

S: But, Bob, didn't they have some trouble in Kakkanad recently?

B: Oh, it was no trouble at all. Once things calmed down, Felix was able to build a thriving and sustainable industry with the complete cooperation of every remaining citizen! The Karr-Tunn is the result of this perfect collaboration and definitely shows a promising new start for the system.

S: Ha, ha ha, of course. So tell us more about the Karr-Tunn. I mean, I think the viewers want to know: "What's it like to drive?"

B: Of course! of course. Let's turn it over to a vid just captured from the factory floor.

R&D wrote:....
Narrator: "So, show up the drive system"
Engineer: "Yeah, yeah, you check this out. You see this lever? Well in firmware 1.9k, it gonna be when you push forward it walk forward and when you push back it walk backward. It gonna be awesome."
N: "That's excellent. And to turn?"
E: "Gonna have something for that in 1.9, too."
N: "Great, great. But what about right now?"
E: "Until then, the complete range of motion can be achieved with just these four buttons. I'm sure the users will find our current 'QWOP drive' system completely user-friendly."


B: ...uch a piece of sh..Oh! we're back. Yes, I had a chance to try it myself, and I assure you, it's quite the experience.

S: Bob, I can't help but see a resemblance to another recent release in the budget frame market.

B: The Karr-Tunn provides a drastic leap forward from that other frame, with an increased cabin area of over 200%!

S: 200%! You could fit like 3 crates in there!

B: Yes you could! And there's more. Surely you need to get some work done, so with this offer, we're including a refurbished "industrial" laser absolutely free.

Spoiler: show
Image

S: I'm surprised it can even hold that thing.
B: Usually they have a battery attached.


S: Free? At that price, that's impossible!

B: It's not impossible today, if you contact the number on your screen RIGHT NOW.

S: Well this all sound great, but what about the shipping all the way from Kakkanad?

B: I'm glad you asked! The frame basically ships itself. Through its ingenious design, the frame literally is its own shipping container. There's no need for special handling procedures.

S: Wow. Amazing. That's simply amazing.

B: But remember, this offer is only good for a limited time!

S: Call now!

B: I need a drink.
S: Get me two.
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Re: AS SEEN ON TV

Postby Mantisking » Fri Mar 13, 2015 9:25 am

oh god. I'm going to have to do another blog post, aren't I. :lol:
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Re: AS SEEN ON TV

Postby Red_Robot » Fri Mar 13, 2015 10:50 am

...and when you're done with it, it makes a fine compost. I gotta say this is adorable. It's like Wall-E in reverse. Also NPU on that coffee mug.

Aaaannnnndddd, you stole my idea! I am working on some fiction that entails some would-be revolutionaries buying another brand name of frames *cough* that ship in their own chassis. Beaten to my own -brilliant- idea! Again! Once more I am relegated to a hack.
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Re: AS SEEN ON TV

Postby MoronicCinamun » Fri Mar 13, 2015 12:52 pm

Man, I want to join in but all the ideas are taken, plus I dont have parts and stuff XD


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Re: AS SEEN ON TV

Postby VitorFaria » Fri Mar 13, 2015 2:07 pm

I wonder if "Frame in a box" will be the next fad! :lol:

I love the tiny droid arms, they really give it a cartoon character vibe.
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Re: AS SEEN ON TV

Postby Mantisking » Fri Mar 13, 2015 2:57 pm

VitorFaria wrote:I wonder if "Frame in a box" will be the next fad! :lol:

You mean like this?
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Re: AS SEEN ON TV

Postby Blorf » Fri Mar 13, 2015 3:51 pm

Thanks! After seeing the Krate, I really wanted to use the 3x4 box. You know, for friendly oneupsmanship.

Red_Robot wrote:Aaaannnnndddd, you stole my idea! I am working on some fiction that entails some would-be revolutionaries buying another brand name of frames *cough* that ship in their own chassis.

Do it anyway! It's not like I'm the first person to ever have that idea.

Red_Robot wrote:Once more I am relegated to a hack.

Don't sell yourself short. Your frame took way more skill to build than mine!

MoronicCinamun wrote:Man, I want to join in but all the ideas are taken

I'm sure when Atavism shows up in here he'll prove there's plenty of room for more.

Mantisking wrote:You mean like this?

Nobody likes boxbot.
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Re: AS SEEN ON TV

Postby VitorFaria » Fri Mar 13, 2015 4:54 pm

Blorf wrote:Nobody likes boxbot.


Terrible!
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Re: AS SEEN ON TV

Postby gusindor » Fri Mar 13, 2015 7:26 pm

Blorf wrote:Nobody likes boxbot.

Pumpkinbot superior. Boxbot inferior.
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Re: AS SEEN ON TV

Postby Atavism » Fri Mar 13, 2015 9:52 pm

This was wonderful. The snarky pitch-men made me laugh, especially.

I can totally see how this came to be:

Henchman: "We have tons of frame parts laying around, but nothing that we can make a full frame out of. We could make more, but after the Unionist Oppressors evacuated the habs we barely have enough people left to run the mines, much less manufacturing."
Felix: "What's in that warehouse, over there?"
Henchman: "Oh, just the crates the assembled frames ship out in. We got a big load of them just before the Revolution kicked off."
Felix: "Hm.... I have an idea."

later

Mihoul Raechsoun: "No, no. And no. We're leaving."
Felix: "But whyyyyyyy?!"

As for the build: I really like the spindly pop-up head. It really reminds me of something, but I can't quite put my finger on what it was... Maybe the trash compactor monster from Star Wars? Maybe Johnny 5... I don't know. I really like it though. (Edit: R2D2's periscope when he's in the Dagobah swamp.) That hot pink gun would look really great in a more subdued color, the way the cup feeds into the bottom tube is particularly clever.
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Re: AS SEEN ON TV

Postby mraichelson » Fri Mar 13, 2015 10:49 pm

Atavism wrote:Mihoul Raechsoun: "No, no. And no. We're leaving."

I. The. What?
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Re: AS SEEN ON TV

Postby Atavism » Fri Mar 13, 2015 11:05 pm

mraichelson wrote:
Atavism wrote:Mihoul Raechsoun: "No, no. And no. We're leaving."

I. The. What?


Blorf's advert references my fanfic about Kakkanad a couple times, and Mihoul is the name of an Ijad leader that shows up briefly towards the end. I *might* have decided to use your name with Ijadi-sounding syllables because names are hard and I liked the idea of throwing in little references like that. Um... if that's ok? *contrite smile*
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Re: AS SEEN ON TV

Postby mraichelson » Sat Mar 14, 2015 3:10 pm

Atavism wrote:
mraichelson wrote:
Atavism wrote:Mihoul Raechsoun: "No, no. And no. We're leaving."

I. The. What?


Blorf's advert references my fanfic about Kakkanad a couple times, and Mihoul is the name of an Ijad leader that shows up briefly towards the end. I *might* have decided to use your name with Ijadi-sounding syllables because names are hard and I liked the idea of throwing in little references like that. Um... if that's ok? *contrite smile*

Okay, that makes a bit more sense. I guess this is the part where "just click mark all as read in the fanfic forum" bites me. :)
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Re: AS SEEN ON TV

Postby Blorf » Sat Mar 14, 2015 4:30 pm

mraichelson wrote:Okay, that makes a bit more sense. I guess this is the part where "just click mark all as read in the fanfic forum" bites me. :)


You should read that one, it's worth your time.
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Re: AS SEEN ON TV

Postby Atavism » Sun Mar 15, 2015 12:01 pm

<<<Link Complete: You have a caller!>>>

Ugh...

Caller: ... Hello?

Hi! You've reached the TVC call center. Uh... Thank YOU for your call. What product can I help you with today?

Caller: Yes, I'd like to order the Karr-Tunn I just saw Bob and Sophie selling on my screen.

Why?

Caller: I'm sorry, what?

Uhm... Yes, of course, ma'am. I'll pull that up for you right now!

Caller: I would also like to mention the code, "Stand with Him." That's a discount, right?

What? Oh, that. No. I'm sorry ma'am, that promotion was for a different product.

Caller: Oh, I'm sorry.

That's no problem ma'am.

Caller: Am I ordering the right thing?

I'm sorry ma'am. I do not know which product you mean to order. You wanted the Karr-Tunn, correct?

Caller: I think so? That's the one that's made with the box, right? I don't need one of those war frames like that beastly Twankus man is always pitching during Mike's hour.

Ok ma'am, the Karr-Tun is one we want today then.

Caller: I thought so. You don't have to send the free laser either, while you're putting in the order. I just need something to pick my peaches, and this seemed like the right way to go.

Uh-huh...

Caller: Yes, I just was seeing Bob pointing at its big boxy chest and I thought, "wouldn't that be great? It could just pick peaches right into itself." I knew I had to get one.

Uh-huh...

Caller: It'll save me so much time around my little orchard I just don't know what I'll do with myself... I guess I can watch more TVC. *laughs*

Yes ma'am. That'd be great ma'am. uh... All of us here at TVC really appreciate how dedicated to our channel customers like you are!

Caller: And that Bob. He's so handsome. Sometimes I wish he'd just come down here and help pick my peaches.. if you know what I mean.

Welp! Looks like I've got everything set up on my end. I just need to get your home coordinates and we can have a Karr-Tunn right out to you. While I have you on the line, are you interested at all in our line of hand-made Jovian pressure beads?

Caller: Well, they are pretty, but I don't really go for stuff like that...

They're Bob's favorite.

Caller: How much are they?
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Re: AS SEEN ON TV

Postby Blorf » Sat Mar 28, 2015 10:21 pm

6 to 8 weeks later...
Spoiler: show
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Re: AS SEEN ON TV

Postby gusindor » Sat Mar 28, 2015 10:28 pm

That's adorable!
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Re: AS SEEN ON TV

Postby Atavism » Sat Mar 28, 2015 10:53 pm

Blorf wrote:6 to 8 weeks later...
Spoiler: show
Image


I'm not really sure how long I just sat here, gaping happily at this. Its very cute, and the depth of field you've got in the orchard beyond is very well executed.
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Re: AS SEEN ON TV

Postby sBritcher » Sun Mar 29, 2015 3:59 am

This is all kinds of amazing. I love the idea of someone's Grandma piloting a Frame to do her Gardening.
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Re: AS SEEN ON TV

Postby Mantisking » Wed Apr 29, 2015 12:00 pm

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