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Mobile Frame Hangar • View topic - Wear Mittens!

Wear Mittens!

Show off and discuss your Mobile Frame designs

Wear Mittens!

Postby gusindor » Sat Mar 28, 2015 9:12 pm

Hi there partner! Y'all don't know me, but I'm your new friend, Martin J. Mittens Jr! And I've got something really special to show you. Check this out:

Cute, ain't it? This little baby is the first of many groundbreaking innovations from Mittens & Groane. Now, I know what you're thinking. "Groundbreaking innovation? It looks like just another budget frame." Well my friend, you're absolutely right! The M5-1 "Mitten" mobile frame is versatile, reliable and most importantly, affordable. But it has one thing no other budget frame has. Can you guess what?

Some things you can do with just your bare hands.
For everything else, there's Mittens & Groane.
Always bring a speech to a gunfight.
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Re: Wear Mittens!

Postby Vitoria » Sat Mar 28, 2015 9:16 pm

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Re: Wear Mittens!

Postby Atavism » Sat Mar 28, 2015 9:23 pm

What great hands! Throwing a ballistic log with high speed and accuracy!

There desperately needs to be a business partnership between Mittens & Groane and
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Re: Wear Mittens!

Postby Valtarshol » Sat Mar 28, 2015 9:35 pm

Hah, awesome! Yeah, I need to do something with HandyCo again, that was great. Make a Handyman Mk. II. But yeah, I love that it's a tiny hand and then it just unfolds these two giant arms, it's great.
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Re: Wear Mittens!

Postby Atavism » Sat Mar 28, 2015 9:46 pm

"Did that thing just throw a log at us?"
"I... think so?"
"I don't understand."
"It is getting closer. Maybe we should just open fire?"
"No, no, break on that. I kind of want to see where this is going."
"What?"
"I said hold your fire. Hee! It just broke a board over Anderson's frame. Is this a joke?"
"Oh, no hutching way!"
"Wow, those hands really are strong! Never seen something peel armor like that."
"Its coming through! Oh God, guys! Help me!"
"I wonder if that's how sardines feel."
"Eh, looks like Anderson bailed out okay. Can we just shoot it, sir?"
"Hmm... Looks like it's seen us... so, we probably should... yeah..."
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Re: Wear Mittens!

Postby gusindor » Sat Mar 28, 2015 9:56 pm

Always bring a speech to a gunfight.
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Re: Wear Mittens!

Postby Mantisking » Sat Mar 28, 2015 9:57 pm

Aw Hutch! Now I have to update my blog post. :mrgreen:


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Re: Wear Mittens!

Postby gusindor » Sun Mar 29, 2015 8:11 pm

Hey there! It's your buddy Martin J. Mittens Jr! I just want to give y'all a friendly reminder that Mittens & Groane's patented Ballistic Throwing Logs are for recreational use only, and not intended as weapons. If you try to use a Log in battle, someone could get insufficiently hurt. Because friends don't let friends drive under-armed, we're offering all Mitten owners a 30% discount on our newest product, the "Snowball" class Launcher-Free Missile!

Now you can get all the stopping power of a conventional rocket, without lugging around a bulky launcher! When you're not blasting your enemies to smithereens (in self-defense, we're sure) you can stow two extra Snowballs with our handy back-mounted quiver.

Stay tuned for more innovative yet affordable equipment options from your friends Mittens & Groane!

Some things you can do with just your bare hands.
For everything else, there's Mittens & Groane.
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Re: Wear Mittens!

Postby gusindor » Fri Apr 03, 2015 9:26 pm

VOOP!

**
Martin J. Mittens Jr: Hey Gwen, you in there?
MJMJ: Gwen?
MJMJ: GWEN!
Gwendolyn Groane: Huh?
GG: Just a minute!
*music stops*
*door opens*
GG: What do you want, Martin?
MJMJ: I wanted to talk to you about something I found in the labs...
GG: For the last time, they're not mine!
MJMJ: No, not those. Something else. It's... it's hard to explain. I think you'd better come see for yourself.
GG: Ugh, fine.

MJMJ: Now Gwen, you're my best friend, and that friendship means a lot to me. So I don't want you to take this the wrong way. We all know you're the engineering genius around here, my genius is more on the business side. And normally I'd never question your inventions except for figuring out how to sell them, but this time I just... well... What the hutch, Gwen? It's got six arms! Six arms and no legs! What the literal hutch, I feel sick just looking at it, and I don't even want to think about piloting it! Why in the world would you even build something like this?
GG: I... didn't...
Last edited by gusindor on Fri Apr 03, 2015 10:30 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Wear Mittens!

Postby Atavism » Fri Apr 03, 2015 10:26 pm

What nightmare finds such awful symmetry pleasing to its eye?

I mean, besides me! :P
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Re: Wear Mittens!

Postby gusindor » Fri Apr 03, 2015 11:02 pm

Always bring a speech to a gunfight.
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Re: Wear Mittens!

Postby gusindor » Sat Apr 04, 2015 5:10 pm

Martine J. Mittens Jr: Hey, what was that?
Gwendolyn Groane: What was what?
MJMJ: Was that... a smile?
GG: N-no! Absolutely not!
MJMJ: Aw c'mon, you're happy about something! Tell me what's up.
GG: No.
MJMJ: Tell me!
GG: No.
MJMJ: Please?
GG: No!
MJMJ: Pretty please with cream and peaches on top?
GG: *sigh* Fine. Remember that six armed-Mitten that showed up in the lab?
MJMJ: I try not to...
GG: I've been coming in on weekends investigate it. It looks like a Mitten, but the tech inside is like nothing I've ever seen, human or Ijad. I tried to design a new frame based on what I could reverse-engineer, check out this digi-sketch:

MJMJ: Oh my...
GG: It was tricky, but I was able to build an approximate replica of the hands, splice in a little of our own tech, and hook it up to a standard Mitten. I even repurposed some of the cockpit's sensors for a motion-capture system. Cool, huh?
MJMJ: Oh no... no, no, no! We are not doing this!
GG: What's wrong?
MJMJ: There is no way we are messing around with this kind of unknown tech, it's unpredictable and dangerous!
GG: You've been watching , haven't you?
MJMJ: Well, yes, but it's not just that! While you were investigating that six-armed monstrosity, I did an investigation of my own, talked to certain... well-informed friends. We're not the only ones who had a highly advanced frame mysteriously appear in our lab! It happened to Twanks LLC, Squib Science Syndicate, and even Human Resourced. They all tried to reverse-engineer the new tech, and what happened to them? General Twankus was kidnapped by a hideous meat-Twank, the Fragsturbait home was invaded by giant alien squirrels, and Mr. Ceirn went so crazy he tried to build a tripod!
GG: Poor grasher...
MJMJ: You didn't actually build this, did you?
GG: No, I needed some software we don't keep in stock. These blueprints are all there is.
MJMJ: Good. We can keep those up our sleeve just in case. But until we find out where it came from, we'll have to keep the six-armed thing under lock and key. As your friend, I can't let you tinker with something so dangerous.
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Re: Wear Mittens!

Postby Valtarshol » Sat Apr 04, 2015 6:39 pm

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Re: Wear Mittens!

Postby Atavism » Sat Apr 04, 2015 9:44 pm

Yeah, the fingers look nice. Who knows, maybe the next monster to come through a rift in space-time will have thumbs!
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Re: Wear Mittens!

Postby gusindor » Sat Apr 18, 2015 9:24 pm

Martin J. Mittens Jr: GwenGwenGWEN!
Gwendolyn Groane: What now?
MJMJ:
GG: Huh?
MJMJ: It's this new sport, where these adorable mini-frames try to push each other into goals...
GG: Sounds kinda boring.
MJMJ: Words really can't do it justice, you have to see it for yourself. I'll take you to a game sometime.
GG: Wh-what, like a date?
MJMJ: Um, uh... Anyway, it's taking the colonies by storm. We have to get in on this! Here's the rules, see what you can whip up.


MJMJ: What did you do, saw off a Mitten's arms and legs?
GG: I tried that, but it fell on its face. So I restructured the cockpit and arms to better distribute the weight. This left no room for a backup energy source, but it can use basic low-powered equipment. Shields, EM pingers, short-burst jets, I even found a use for those sonic rifles...
MJMJ: But those aren't non-lethal. Useless in combat, sure, but according to SU law they're "maybe-just-barely-lethal-if-the-target-has-a-severe-heart-condition."
GG: It never says "non-lethal" in the rulebook. Just that accelerators can't damage the target.
MJMJ: Okay, works for me! We'll call them Pinkies, and our team will be the M&G Megavolts, how's that sound?
GG: I literally could not care less.
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Re: Wear Mittens!

Postby FrostCollar » Fri Apr 24, 2015 4:38 pm

In a perfect world we could all have a Trundleball showdown with every proposed design. They're all pretty cute, and yours are no exception!
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Re: Wear Mittens!

Postby gusindor » Fri Apr 24, 2015 10:48 pm

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Re: Wear Mittens!

Postby Blorf » Sat Apr 25, 2015 8:14 am

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Re: Wear Mittens!

Postby Mantisking » Wed Apr 29, 2015 12:01 pm



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Re: Wear Mittens!

Postby gusindor » Tue May 05, 2015 5:09 pm

Martin J. Mittens Jr: Gwen, what the hutch?
Gwendolyn Groane: I know what you're thinking...
MJMJ: You broke your promise! That really hurts my feelings, Gwen!
GG: It's not what it looks like!
MJMJ: Then why does that Mitten have fingers? You were messing with the six-armed thing again!
GG: No, no I wasn't! With the motion-capture controls in the blueprints, I was able to build new hands of my own design, even better than the ones on the six-armed thing. The new controls also give it the agility needed to handle actual feet.
MJMJ: Slow down... your own design?
GG: Completely.
MJMJ: Promise this doesn't have any mystery tech?
GG: Not even a rivet, I swear.
MJMJ: Well okay then, I'll get started on an ad for the Mitten MkII!

GG: Actually I was thinking about calling this one the Glove...
MJMJ: Trust me, numbered sequels are better for brand recognition. We can save the name Glove for something else, though.
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